This Roller Coaster Called Having a Baby

I am almost 36 weeks along now.  Yesterday I thought I was for sure having the baby.  You'd think I would have it right by now huh?

Around 7:30am the pains started, I went to church though.  All day long 5 to 10 minutes apart.  (With the exception of 11-12 pm when they were 15 minutes apart and 4-5pm when they took a break altogether).  At around 6pm, the intensity got to the point that they reminded me of Tai and Callen's birth.  I felt pressure in my rear  when they would come.  They were intense, a burning like feeling so deep inside of me.  That is the only way I can describe Tai and Callen's birth and last nights contractions.  At around 7:45pm we left to go to triage to see what was up- if there was anything.  No change.  Still dilated only to a one.  In fact, the monitors weren't even picking anything up!!  But I was still having them!  I started to cry.  Not because I wasn't technically in labor, but because I felt so stupid.  I felt like no one would ever believe me again.  I felt like I could never trust my feelings ever again.  It was hard for me to deal with.  This ain't my first rodeo you know.  Plus it had just been a long and exhausting day.  Derek was sweet about it.
Anyway, I was blessed to have a sweet nurse that told me, "Honey, this is your fifth time around.  If you say you are having a contraction, then I believe you."  Oh, I loved her.  She guessed I was probably dehydrated and that can cause this sort of thing.  She came back and said that I was very dehydrated.  She brought me a big thing of water to drink and a sandwich to eat.  She was very sweet.  She sat me up to partake, and then the monitors were catching the contractions.  They were finally showing up and like clockwork coming every four to five minutes.  Validation!!  Hallelujah!  I was just laying back too far before.  When she saw that, she offered me a shot to stop the contractions saying we needed the baby to cook a little longer.  Honestly, I didn't feel good about it.  Long story short, we declined the shot.  It just didn't feel right for some reason.  Well, we went home.  They continued until 11pm when I finally went to sleep.

7:30am to 11pm.  15.5 hours.  One long day.  They felt SO much like real labor too!  Oh, I was so embarrassed.  No change in the cervix.  Absolutely crazy.

I woke up sore and tired today, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of four and a half more weeks.  I don't know how much more of these "false alarms" I can take.  I guess having a baby really is about being patient and letting go.  On the bright side, the Lord used this experience to bring out Ethan's absolute best! Ethan was so sweet.  He was so worried last night.  He went and said a prayer with daddy, asking the Lord if we should go in and get me checked.  He sincerely prayed twice and the second time he came out and said, "Mom.  I really felt like the Lord told me you need to go.  Go."  I guess he was right though.  I needed to know I needed water.  I honestly didn't think I was dehydrated.  I can't say I thought I had been drinking a lot, but I didn't think it was so bad it would cause what it did.  I am thankful for my son's faith.  It was so beautiful to see him so serious and so FULL of faith in the Lord and in prayer.  He told me he knew that Heavenly Father wouldn't leave me alone.  I love that boy!

Another day is over, and another will begin again tomorrow.  I am thankful for the Lord's hand in all things.  I am thankful for my son's testimony and honestly, I believe last night helped him have a better day today.  He's been having a really rough time lately and this morning he was full of happiness and telling me awesome things like, "when we read our scriptures and we pray, Satan goes away huh mom!"  And he just felt so free today.  I am thankful he had a good day, and was able to feel and happy.  I am thankful he was able to learn from his own experience the truth that Satan can not be where there is light.  I pray he remembers that always.