Till We Meet Again

Before I begin, I just want to say that this post is very dear to me.  I care so much for my sister in law and her husband and do not wish to overstep any ground, but I write this post with a prayer in my heart and with love in my heart for them and their daughter.  I write this post to the best of my ability, and to the best of my knowledge.  As far as medical facts go, I will not attempt it, but I love this little girl, and I want to share what is in my heart concerning her today and forever.

Kenadie.  A beautiful name for a beautiful baby.  How we love this girl.  She is so special and I just felt joy and comfort when I was around her.  When I would hold her love would rush through me.  I respected her, I felt so thankful she was my niece.  Though I didn't get to hold her very often, I still felt so much love for her, and was just happy she was there, and was happy to watch her grow in her mother's tender loving arms.  

Kenadie was born on March 16, 2011 at UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center.
She was born with some complications with her heart and her brain.  She had to go through many many surgeries, her first being a heart surgery at only five days old.  She pushed through though, being the trooper that she is, and got to go home two months later.  After that, she was in and out of the hospital all year whether for a shunt revision or for another heart surgery, she couldn't seem to be able to put the hospital away for good.  A couple of months ago though, she had another heart surgery.  Though you can never know for sure, we all hoped and prayed she was done with hospitals after that surgery.  Her shunt seemed to be working, and her heart had a brand new pace maker.


Last month Kenadie went in again.  Her mom and dad could tell she was terribly uncomfortable but did not know what was wrong, they just knew they had to take her back.  She spent the next few weeks at the hospital, all the while doctors trying to understand what was wrong, and Kenadie and her family waiting to have the go ahead for yet another shunt revision. 



On April 24 of this year, Kenadie's little heart couldn't go on and Heavenly Father took her home.  Her mission on earth being complete.

Kenadie is precious to us all.  Each moment we were blessed to spend with her was always dear to our hearts and we were so proud to have such a special special girl be related to us!  It is truly an honor!  I got to go to her first birthday last month where she got to eat some chocolate cake.

She was so well taken care of.  I was always amazed with her dear momma.

She did everything she could with untiring devotion, to make sure Kenadie had everything she needed to be comfortable, safe, secure, and live a full life, complete with chocolate cake and all!

Such a great example to me of Christlike love and hope.

I miss her.

I really really miss her.  I was blessed to be there when she came in to this world.  Her gorgeous eyes were wide and calm.  Here to do what the Lord called her to do.  Here to teach us all.  I remember how calm she was in her mothers arms.  She didn't cry when they gave her to her mom.  I cherish that memory more than I could say.  

I don't want to face reality right now, I really don't.

When I allow myself to remember how long it will be before I can hold her again, I can't hold back my broken heart.  I really miss her so much.  I have a hard time believing that this is true.  There is a part of me, and I think it's the self defense mechanism we all have inside of us, that still feels like she is here.  She is simply still at UCLA.  She is not gone, she's just a couple of hours away.  

  

I know she is okay, I know she is in a better place.  I know she is happy with her Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ.  I know she is at rest.  I know the Lord had a different plan for her than we did....  It just hurts.  I want her there the next time we have a family get together!  I honestly thought she would always be there!  To the best of my knowledge, no one really thought she would leave us so soon.  I know I didn't.  We were told it was possible for her to be with us until she was a teenager.  I know that it would not hurt any less if we were to lose her then, but still, my heart was not prepared to say goodbye to her now.  

More than anything, my heart aches so deeply for her mommy and daddy!  I am not ever going to presume that I know what they are going through.  I don't know.  I do have children, but I have not had to endure their loss, and the times that I imagine how it must feel it hurts way too much so I have to stop thinking about it.  They don't have that luxury, so I don't know exactly what they are going through.... 

My heart aches and burns for them so dearly! 

She was so blessed to have such wonderful wonderful parents.  Honestly, I could not honor them enough!  They amazed me each day with all they did and had to endure with seeing Kenadie go through so much and yet, they were so happy and strong!!  Never afraid to fill us in with what was happening with Kenadie, and Jesi, she may as well have a medical degree by now.  She often knew before the doctors did what needed to be done for her daughter.  She is such a wonderful wonderful mother, and is married to such a devoted and loving man who helped however he was needed.  What a wonderful wonderful man!

I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, that they were sealed as an eternal family!  I am so thankful for Christ's Atonement that even through a time like this we can be comforted with peace and the knowledge that life goes on after this, and families can be together forever as long as we never forget, and we strive to be like our Savior!  I know that that gift is real!  

I know they will have Kenadie again.  

She is not lost to them!!

Kenadie Brianne Humphreys
March 16, 2011- April 24, 2012

We love you baby girl!  We miss you dearly.  We are so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ to know you will be resurrected with a perfect body.  You will be able to tell us your thoughts, your feelings, we will be able to laugh with you.
As your aunt, I want you to know that I love you, your uncle Derek loves you, your cousins love you and still pray for you and your family.  We will never forget the love we feel for you.
We can't wait to see you again, dear baby.  I don't want to say goodbye to you!  Even if it's not forever.  We cry for you today.

God be with you till we meet again!