9 Weeks

Oh, good gracious.  I have had no desire to blog of late.  I've been so dang sick I have just been on the super down low.  I've been depressed and sad and feeling like the sick part of this will never end...

Here's the good news, I have felt closer to the Lord, and I'm starting to see light.  I'm starting to see that I will feel better soon enough.  We got to see the baby last week which was great, I really needed that.  I'm so glad baby is growing well, and I was so grateful to see the babies heartbeat.

I'm struggling with guilt because the happiness I felt before I got sick was ripped from me.  It's so strange.  I don't remember this from before.

I know I was so sick in previous pregnancies, I know I remember saying that I would not do well as an invalid, so I know I have had great difficulties with morning sickness before, but I feel like this time it has more then affected my stomach, it's affected my spirit.

I got a blessing though that gave me good council and help to look ahead past this and not to let this sadness over take me.

I am working hard to have faith in that and work towards that.

Even though this process has been slow and I can say I have been very stubborn, I can also say I have made progress.

I keep thinking about this baby, and I know in my heart this sweet baby will be such a wonderful addition to our family and we will be very close.

Ok, so here's the scoop:

HOW FAR ALONG ARE YOU?

I am 9 weeks.

HOW BIG IS THE PEANUT?

The baby is the size of a grape now!  

TOTAL WEIGHT GAIN/LOSS?

I am up 4lbs which is great because even though I have gained this pregnancy, I have also not been gaining non-stop.  I feel good that it's only 4 and not 10 or more like last time at this point especially since I have not been able to go on any walks for the past 2 and a half weeks.  

I am so grateful that I haven't blown up and pray I can maintain....

Fingers crossed.

MATERNITY CLOTHES?

Yes

SLEEP?

Better...  I actually sleep a lot.  It's the only time I don't feel the stomach pain.

I still wake up with anxiety sometimes, but it has definitely gotten better.

The Lord is good to me.

BEST MOMENT OF THIS WEEK?

General Conference.  Seeing the baby.

SYMPTOMS?

The obvious.

FOOD CRAVINGS?

Not really...

FOOD AVERSIONS?

Not really anything specific.  Just if I feel like eating something I do, if I don't, I don't.

GENDER?

Still think it's a boy.

LABOR SIGNS?

No.

BELLY BUTTON?

In.

WHAT I MISS?

Feeling like myself

MILESTONES?

I have started to feel closer to my Savior.

WHAT AM I LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Being past the morning sickness part!

BUMP? 

Im growing, just haven't take any pictures...  So sorry!!

But, I am happy