It's Real Time

I just read one of my latest posts called "Blissfully Boring" and I just about wanted to throw up.

Yes, I must have been in a very "blissful" mood, but I realize now that I just became a shining beacon of only writing when times are good.  I don't want to bring anyone down, but I like my blog to be about real life, not just the good parts.  The problem with only writing every once in awhile is, you sort of lump up your life up to the basic good feelings you've had over a long period of time, and though I am truly happy that are basic feel is happy (really, I am SO thankful for this time of peace) I can very honestly say it's not all roses and butterflies.  

Just today I felt so much like a failure I literally yelled out, "I give up!"

I had no idea eleven and a half years ago that becoming a mother meant that you were so dang vulnerable.

Never have I worried so much, struggled so much, felt so much guilt!

Seriously, especially in this day and age, it's hard to "measure up" to this unwritten standard of what a "good mom" means.

It means so many different things to so many different people!

A good mom to some is a stern one that doesn't put up with anything so her kids grow up being respectful.

To another, a good mom is always soft spoken, never speaking a harsh word and absolutely never spanking.

To another, if you don't spank your child you are a terrible mother.

To some, if you feed your child only healthy things, you are just amazing for obvious reasons.

To another, if you only feed them good things, you are told you're doing them a great disservice.

These opinions go on, and on, and on, and on from breastfeeding, to schooling, to circumcising, 

to sleeping, to playing, to disciplining, to clothing, to diapers!!

But that's just it!!!

It's OPINIONS!!!

I think there's one thing that needs to be said right here, right now.

There are no two children that are the same.

Every child sees the world differently and understands differently, therefore needs to be taught differently.

You are not the parent to MY children, my husband and I are.

I am not the parent to YOUR child/children, you are.

Each parent, if they are any kind of good person at all, knows what is best for their child because they love them and know them best.

Therefore, I am under the opinion we need to be a little less judgmental, a little less "helpful" with our opinions, and a little more understanding when we see someone struggling, or we see their kids struggling.

As long as our children know they are truly loved, are taught proper principles, fed, clothed, washed, allowed to play, are taught a good education under someone who cares, are not neglected and left to themselves, are protected, then they are growing up in a good home and have good parents.

I'm am very sympathetic to new moms,  and moms everywhere for that matter.  I've definitely had my share of other people's opinions regarding my children.  Someone gave me a parent book called, "Taking Back Control" when my oldest son was four years old and giving them grief.  I actually never read the book, but Ethan has grown into quite the young man so it's taught me that kids do grow out of their phases, and as embarrassing as it was,

it is good, it's taught me to not jump to conclusions about others.

I was walking through Lowe's the other day with my three year old daughter screaming and shouting, throwing a royal fit, and all I was doing was holding her.  I was flat out ignoring her behavior. 

A woman looked at me and said, "She looks like a monster... And your just ignoring her..."

I said, "Yep, it gets it over with faster."

Because it does, the more I try to talk with her and "reason" with her during these times, the longer the fit goes.

If I just ignore her, she simply gets it out and actually apologizes to me after for throwing a fit.

Did the lady at Lowe's think of me as a good mom? 

I have no idea.  Probably not.

Do I care?

No.

She's not her daughter, she's mine.  I know her best, I love her best and that's all that matters.

Did I like her calling my daughter a monster?

Not at all, but in her defense my daughter was acting and sounding like one, so I'll let it slide.

It's just hard.  

It's just hard.

I'm an imperfect mom trying to raise perfect children and it's just not reasonable.

Perfection isn't achieved in this life, but I can promise I'll never stop trying.

I absolutely hate being judged as a mother from my kids behavior, sometimes it's just downright embarrassing. 

In fact, it hurts. Like, a lot!  Because I love my kids and I want to protect them from everything.

 But, I know that one day my kids will grow out of these difficult stages and they will grow up to be amazing. 

I know that, I have no doubt.

So, I'll just keep going doing my best and pray the Lord makes up the rest.

As long as I feel like the Lord is pleased with me as a parent, and I take my council from Him, our kids and us, as their parents, will make it through just fine.